Happy Hump day Ms. Heel,
Grab your passport and let's take a quick trip to the cerebellum instead of that long distance bootie call to the Caribbean!😘
In other words, let's go inside a man's brain to breakdown, why I think it's so important to get inside your date's head, before you jump your ass in his bed!
So, a certain somebody in our office, got an offer to go to the Bahamas, with a guy she met online and they've only been on three dates. She wanted to know if she should go.
Has this ever happened to you Ms. Heel? You're dating a guy for a short period of time (less than 3 months) and you all haven't had sex, when BOOM--he suggests a weekend getaway to Paradise Island?
What's a modern, need-to-getaway, ready to pack a bikini, so over these sub-zero temps, Ms. Heel to do?
In my opinion: stay at home and unpack his intentions!
C'mon Ms. Heel, you gotta be suspect of some dude, dangling an island retreat before he even knows exactly what you like to eat! This is the ultimate player move. And to be very clear, a playa with some money! Men are very good at reading us and knowing what it'll take to make us hide the key to our chastity belts out in the open. Follow along as I breakdown the ol' fancy trip offer, that's meant to only trip you up!
Pass (the) Port?
Gurls, the entire intention behind this gift of an Island get-away, is to bypass your port of entry! Let me explain. There's something so sexy and intoxicating when you're on foreign soil. It's almost like you get to be someone different. And that's why a trip away from home, is one of playa player's signature moves. Think about it: you're in a different country, new time zones/culture, steamy & salacious hot weather, maybe a different language is spoken, and your normal guards are not in place. You are much more relaxed, feeling free, and willing to get swept away by the sweetness of an island fling. Translation: quicker to be flinging off undergarments than when at home!
Circumventing the 90-day rule:
This is for those girls that follow Steve's Harvey suggestion of not sleeping with a guy before you've known him for 90 days. Guys know, that you'll be hard pressed to not sleep with him, after one too many rum runners, Bob Marley music induced slow dancing/grinding, and that HUGE king size bed, that overlooks the Atlantic ocean--which is simply purrfect for love making! Hell, as I write this--I wanna book a flight and get my freak on! But don't do it gurls...if you catch that flight, you're more than likely to catch some feelings and the next thang ya know--legs in da air! So stay at home, light that candle and let the smell of vanilla & coconut be the only thing floating deliciously up in the air.
How Stella, Jenny, Yvette, Betty, Cindy, Kim, Keisha, Felicia, Dana, Lisa, Aji, Amy, Lauren & (insert your name here),____________ got her groove back! :
Ahhh yes, the ol gettin' back into the groove routine! WAKE UP MS. HEEL, this ain't the movies! Some hot dude with amazing pecks, accent and abs is probably not gonna sweep you off your feet, and yawl get married 6 months later! No. You're on a vacay date with your average six figure income fellow with a southern, Jersey or mid-western accent. Now I'm not saying that this island bootie call can't turn into something serious and end in marriage; but more than likely, it'll last through the weekend. I get you want to get your groove back after a bad break-up, divorce or being alone too long. But I caution you from throwing caution and bikini bottom to the wind and the next thang ya know, you're having sex on the beach!
Exactly what he wanted.
This is the trip, you absolutely don't ever want to take! Sleeping with a guy out of guilt because (it appears) he's spent so much money, took the time out to have rose petals strewed all over the room, paid to get your hair braided on the beach and brought a few trinkets for you when you went into town to shop. It's called: DATING! I know, it's very old school--a guy actually paying for everything, but men still, and should, do this! First of all, we don't know if this trip was won and/or he used points to pay for this getaway. And you don't owe him "you" just because he spent a few hundred dollars at the mall! I mean, is that your price? If so, you need a immediate price increase. But even more pertinent, you need to put some value on your body and re-examine your self-worth! You say thank you with a handshake not a hand job!
In the end, leave the island hopping to men you really know. I say this for a myriad of reasons. For one, the longer you get to know someone, the more you'll find out about him--both good and bad. Two, when you're off island time and back home, there'll be no questioning yourself and your decisions. Thirdly, getting into his head is so much more vital to ensuring a loving, respectful and truthful relationship. All of which are important factors when you do get in the bed.
But hey, if you do decide to ignore all this good advice, other than packing some suntan lotion and sunscreen, I'd suggest packing some serious "heat!"😉