In the infamous words of Jan Brady: "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!"
Well I'm saying: "Oprah, Oprah, Oprah...she seems to get and have the best of everything!"
And here's why I'm jealous:
It’s not her beautiful, thick, natural hair.
It’s not her billion plus dollars in the bank.
It’s not the fact that if she really wants it, she could be president.
It’s not the admiration and love she receives world-wide from rank strangers…well wait, I’m lying.
It is the FREAKIN love and admiration she receives...BUT, from one woman:
Dammit, she has a Gayle—I WANT A GAYLE!!!
THIS is why I'm jealous!
What’s a “Gayle” you ask?
A Gayle is that out of the ordinary, exceptional girlfriend, that has your back, no matter what…even when you’re wrong as hell! A Gayle compliments and criticizes you from her heart.
Translation: she says it all with love!
She's truly happy when you win (even when her life sucks at that moment), and not that fake happy crap! And can we talk about fake happy for a minute?
Fake happy is like a Frankenstein food product with an ad campaign:
Now with less bullshit!
Still filled with non-nutritional bullshit--just not as much.
"Fappy" (my new name for it) is composed of fake smiles, low-fat (aka, low key) jealousy and that quick changing of the subject; that leaves you questioning yourself, if maybe you were bragging or went on too long about your accomplishment. Oh you know this feeling, because it nags at you and I'm sure you've felt it before.
But I digress. Back to the lovely qualities of Gayles.
Gayles celebrate EVERY SINGLE ACCOMPLISHMENT both big and small, with joyful, animated, exhilaration! Just Google or YouTube Oprah's and Gayle's friendship—it truly is something to behold. So special in fact, they’ve been accused of loving each so other much, people have whispered that they’re lesbians.
Why doesn’t Oprah just give out Gayles? And you get a Gayle, and you get a Gayle, you get a Gayle…dammit man—everybody gets a Gayle!
Who’s with me? I cannot be the only one…you, in the back—no?
Maybe you're already one of the lucky few who have a Gayle in your life and know how important it is, to who have that one special girlfriend. You may have accomplished and achieved everything on your vision board, but without a genuine friendship, it means absolutely nothing! Gayles are much more vital to a woman’s emotional development than men! O yes…hookups, lovers, boyfriends, husbands will all come and go, but a good Gayle, will last forever!
Unfortunately, I am without a Gayle.
Shout out to Angie and Lisa, I love and appreciate our friendship. But it’s not that Gayle that I crave. Gayles take time. Gayles (if you're lucky), comes once in a lifetime. I’m still alive, so maybe it’s not too late.
And more importantly, there’s still time for me to be someone’s Gayle…aha!
O you didn’t think I was gonna let myself off the hook—O no! I’m a firm believer, that whatever it is you want in life, you must first give it away.
But with major restrictions and with some pre-req's!
For see, I've always been a natural giver.
My biggest problem, is deciphering who is worthy of my gifts. I’ve been a lil slutty with these things. Just handing them out to unworthy and undeserving folks! And of course getting burned (no pun intended)!
In turn, I sometimes sacrificed way too much of myself. I will sadly admit to doing a lil (ok fine, a lot) of ass-kissing in order to maintain a friendship. I gag at the thought of this now.
My sacred gifts include: complimenting my gf's on clothes, looks, weight-losses, job promotions, liking their posts, respecting them no matter the choices good or bad they’ve made, taking those 2 am phone calls even when I need to get up at 7, celebrating birthdays with uplifting ceremonies (my friends know of this ritual), and simply giving of myself, both financially and emotionally. I do these things and more: ALL DAY EVERYDAY!
So I will work on me; constantly checking myself and my actions. Making sure that I’m a good friend to Lisa and Angie. And recently, Chorlotte.
Who knows, maybe one of these friendships will evolve into a Gayle.
Or that one day, that awesome Thelma & Louise friendship I once had with Judy, will reincarnate into something even better than what we had...I miss us.
And before I go, I must pay homage to my childhood best friend, Patricia in Oklahoma. I wonder what we would have now, if we hadn't lost touch--a 35 year friendship in the making...Wherefore art thou?
However, when I do get so lucky to have a Gayle or be someone’s Gayle, can we promise to be those gale force winds beneath each other's wings?
I hereby promise to always lift you up and to help you fly...
May the force (of "Gayle" winds) be with you,